SONOFA...MONKEY.
I did it again. I told myself I wouldn't, but I did it anyway. I failed to post on time AGAIN. Geez, Austin, what in the world is wrong with you? I feel like I ask this question a lot more than is healthy.
Anyway, I am terribly sorry for disappointing you all again. I know I had you all on your toes all day Thursday, rapidly refreshing the page to see if a new post would appear. I am so sorry for your suffering and anguish. But hey, at least I didn't skip this week all together, right? Better late than never, right? I know, I know, no excuses. But I'm going to give you one anyway.
So the reason I didn't post yesterday was not that I got too busy. In fact, I had plenty of time, I just failed to do so. I was actually playing Minecraft for awhile, trying to perfect a house design. I tell you what, as addicting as this game is, I feel so inadequate every time I play.
For those of you who aren't familiar, the whole concept of the game is very minimal. Gather resources and build/do whatever the heck you want. You can do a variety of things, such as simply building structures, or you can venture off, discovering caves, fighting monsters, collecting loot, etc. There is no right or wrong way to play, really. Anyway, I have seen some amazing things done in Minecraft, so I always feel like I have to live up to them. And I simply cannot. I have no creative capacity when it comes to this game. Well, let me rephrase that. My creativeness does not translate onto this game. This house I was working on wasn't even my design. I looked up some simple designs and found one I really liked, and set out to replicate it. But all I had was one picture of the outside (one side of it) to go off of. So I tediously tried to recreate this house block by block, until I had, more or less, a side of a house resembling the picture. From there, I tried my best to improvise, but it just did not work out well. I had all these ideas for it, but none of them turned out the way I envisioned. I'm still tweaking the first floor of the inside, which is pretty much a disaster zone at this point. It might be awhile before this project every gets finished. But it will be a glorious day when it finally is.
Anywho, I actually had a really great idea for yesterday's (today's) post, but I decided against it. For one, it had the potential to get a tad inappropriate (sorry mom and dad), but mostly because I wanted to save it. For what, you might ask?
For YouTube of course!
That's right! I'm really strongly considering pursuing the whole YouTube thing. Not soon, though. Between school and my job this summer, I'm not really going to have time. But I do want to start at least preparing to be a YouTube sensation (if only). Figuring out how to go about it, what I'll need, what I'd post, yadda yadda yadda. I think it's high time I actually set out to do something instead of just wishing for it to happen. Follow your dreams, kids. They just might come true.
Well that about wraps it up for this post. Once again, I'm sorry for the lateness. If you don't usually get around to reading these as soon as they go up, you probably wouldn't have even noticed, but I would know. And that's what matters. Man, I've really gotta get my sh*t together. Anyway, thanks for being patient with me, and, as always, for reading. Tune in next week for a new episode of Let's Play: Life! And remember kids, if you're not old enough to sign your own paperwork, you're not old enough to get pregnant!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Episode 9: What Is My Life?
Hey there people! First of all, I just wanted to apologize. It's been not one, but TWO weeks since I've posted, and I just know you've all missed me and my incredible wit. Things got really busy and I just failed to post last Thursday, but I just want you to know that I am back on track and ready to go.
That being said, let's address the question so eloquently stated in the title of this post: What is my life?
And my response?
I have no idea.
Now, I know I posted a while ago about trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life as far as a career goes, but there are plenty of other things I haven't figured out either. For starters, I am terrible with females. Can't talk to them, can't express my feelings or communicate my thoughts.
I am a mess.
As far as girls go, that's just a confidence issue. And an overwhelming fear of rejection. But I think the biggest thing preventing me from knowing what I want to do with my life and things of that nature is that I can never focus on one thing for an extended period of time. I don't mean this as in, I can't study for more than 10 minutes because SQUIRREL. No, I mean that I jump from activity to activity. Examples: I have what I call Video Game ADD. I'll pick up a game, play it a lot because it's shiny and new and fun, then after a period of time ranging from a few days to a few months, I'll get away from it and go onto a new one. I may return to that game in the future, but usually not after a significant hiatus.
I think my ideal career would to just come up with big ideas and then give them to people to carry out. Seriously though, if that was an actual job, I would be SO good at it. At various points in my life, I've gotten really great ideas, and just never followed through with them. Here are the highlights.
1. A Capella group. You all know how much I love music. Like, LOVE music. After watching The Sing-Off, I got really inspired and wanted to make beautiful music with just my voice (along with other voices). I really wanted to recruit people to the cause and at least pull something together for a talent show, but never got around to doing so.
2. Drama Camp. This one actually came closer to being realized than the others, but still had a long ways to go. A few years ago, back in high school, I was talking to a friend of mine who was also part of the theatre department, and we came up with a great idea to make some money over the summer. We wanted to host a drama camp for younger kids, teaching them the basics of performing on stage and possibly putting together a little one-act play or something. We actually started thinking about this at the beginning of the school year, so we had plenty of time to get things together. We started planning the structure of the camp, figuring out all the factors we had to account for. But, in the end, we got too busy with other activities that we just never put this plan into effect.
3. YouTube. A few years ago, I thought it would be fun (still do) to be on YouTube. I didn't really have a plan for what my channel would look like, or the kind of videos I would post, I just wanted to go for it. I actually ended up starting a video blog (a vlog, if you will). I recorded my first video, but then when I couldn't figure out how to edit the freaking thing, I just gave up. I actually am thinking more and more about picking this up again in the future. I really like blogging now, and I think having my own, consistent YouTube channel would be super awesome. Maybe post a weekly rant, a let's play or two. Alongside this blog, of course. I wouldn't just up and quit. I wouldn't want you to have to suffer in such a way.
Anyway, that's about it for this week. Once again, I'm sorry I missed last weeks post. I promise to try my hardest not to let it happen again. Quick shout out to my friends up in Lawrence who I'm going to go visit! I'm excited to see you! That's it for this weeks post. Tune in next week for a new episode! And remember kids, don't talk to strangers (unless they offer you free candy)!
That being said, let's address the question so eloquently stated in the title of this post: What is my life?
And my response?
I have no idea.
Now, I know I posted a while ago about trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life as far as a career goes, but there are plenty of other things I haven't figured out either. For starters, I am terrible with females. Can't talk to them, can't express my feelings or communicate my thoughts.
I am a mess.
As far as girls go, that's just a confidence issue. And an overwhelming fear of rejection. But I think the biggest thing preventing me from knowing what I want to do with my life and things of that nature is that I can never focus on one thing for an extended period of time. I don't mean this as in, I can't study for more than 10 minutes because SQUIRREL. No, I mean that I jump from activity to activity. Examples: I have what I call Video Game ADD. I'll pick up a game, play it a lot because it's shiny and new and fun, then after a period of time ranging from a few days to a few months, I'll get away from it and go onto a new one. I may return to that game in the future, but usually not after a significant hiatus.
I think my ideal career would to just come up with big ideas and then give them to people to carry out. Seriously though, if that was an actual job, I would be SO good at it. At various points in my life, I've gotten really great ideas, and just never followed through with them. Here are the highlights.
1. A Capella group. You all know how much I love music. Like, LOVE music. After watching The Sing-Off, I got really inspired and wanted to make beautiful music with just my voice (along with other voices). I really wanted to recruit people to the cause and at least pull something together for a talent show, but never got around to doing so.
2. Drama Camp. This one actually came closer to being realized than the others, but still had a long ways to go. A few years ago, back in high school, I was talking to a friend of mine who was also part of the theatre department, and we came up with a great idea to make some money over the summer. We wanted to host a drama camp for younger kids, teaching them the basics of performing on stage and possibly putting together a little one-act play or something. We actually started thinking about this at the beginning of the school year, so we had plenty of time to get things together. We started planning the structure of the camp, figuring out all the factors we had to account for. But, in the end, we got too busy with other activities that we just never put this plan into effect.
3. YouTube. A few years ago, I thought it would be fun (still do) to be on YouTube. I didn't really have a plan for what my channel would look like, or the kind of videos I would post, I just wanted to go for it. I actually ended up starting a video blog (a vlog, if you will). I recorded my first video, but then when I couldn't figure out how to edit the freaking thing, I just gave up. I actually am thinking more and more about picking this up again in the future. I really like blogging now, and I think having my own, consistent YouTube channel would be super awesome. Maybe post a weekly rant, a let's play or two. Alongside this blog, of course. I wouldn't just up and quit. I wouldn't want you to have to suffer in such a way.
Anyway, that's about it for this week. Once again, I'm sorry I missed last weeks post. I promise to try my hardest not to let it happen again. Quick shout out to my friends up in Lawrence who I'm going to go visit! I'm excited to see you! That's it for this weeks post. Tune in next week for a new episode! And remember kids, don't talk to strangers (unless they offer you free candy)!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Episode 8: Laundry, Layouts, and Long Weeks.
I hate doing laundry. No, let me rephrase: I hate doing laundry in a public laundry space. You know why? Because people suck.
True story.
So I walk into the laundry room searching for an open washer. All of them are full. Now, normally, that wouldn't be unusual or piss-off worthy, except only one washer was still running. All seven other washers had completed their cycles. And laundry was just sitting there. Occupying the washers. That I needed to use. So I set down my basket, sit down on the counter, and wait. Surely someone will show up soon. They must know their laundry is done, right? They obviously had the decency to set an alarm so they'd know when it was ready, right?
Wrong.
After a few minutes, a guy walks in. Sweet relief. NOPE. He gets his stuff out of a dryer. The washers are are still full. After about five more minutes, a girl walks in talking on her phone. At this point I'm thinking, Sweet Jesus just get your sh*t and go. Lolnope. She's clearly more interested in her conversation than in clearing the washers for the obviously aggravated telepathically screaming at her to hurry it up. She, I kid you not, takes about ten minutes to get her stuff out of not one, not two, not three, but FOUR washers. This girl, holy crap this girl, left her stuff just sitting in FOUR separate washers. One of which had ONE SINGLE pair of pants in it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. So after what felt like an eternity, I finally start my laundry, which is great, because I really needed to do it. Once I have to break out the sweatpants, you know it's serious.
SUBJECT CHANGE!
So I had my first layout the other day at ultimate practice. For those of you who aren't familiar with the game, this was a pretty exciting moment for me. Basically, a layout is what it sounds like: You lay out (dive) for the disc and make the catch. You should definitely look up ultimate highlights on YouTube. Some of the craziest displays of athleticism you will ever see.
Now, I've been on the ground for a disc before, but this time was different. So we're scrimmaging with a local club team, and the disc gets swung to a handler. I see my chance, and I break for the endzone. It had been pretty windy that day, and the throw was down wind, so I run as fast as I physically can to try to get to this disc. It's floating right out in front of me, just begging to be caught. So I dive out, grab that sucker with one hand, and secure the point right at the back of the endzone. Oh man, I was so pumped. I tell you what, there is nothing quite like the feeling you get from a successful layout. #ultimate4lyfe
SUBJECT CHANGE!
I don't know if it's just me, but these past few weeks have just taken their sweet time. I find myself working for the weekend before the current weekend is even over. I think it's because Spring Break is so close. I really need some time off. To just chill, you know? Also, I've really been looking forward to this weekend, because the ultimate team is traveling to St. Louis for a tournament. I'm really excited to play some ultimate and hang with my friends and just be college kids, but the one thing I'm not looking forward to is the cold. It's supposed to be in the 30s all weekend. With a chance of flurries on Saturday. Blech. No thank you. I hate the cold so much. The thing I love about the South is how warm it stays year-round. Call me crazy (not maybe), but I would gladly trade 110 degree summers for 50-60 degree winters.
Anyway, that about wraps it up for this week. This episode features a little more variety than my other posts so far. A little ranting, a little life update. I hope you enjoyed it! Tune in next week for the next episode of Let's Play: Life, featuring the ever so handsome and charming and witty and magical Austin! And remember kids: Get your freaking laundry out of the washer/dryer in a timely manner. Seriously.
True story.
So I walk into the laundry room searching for an open washer. All of them are full. Now, normally, that wouldn't be unusual or piss-off worthy, except only one washer was still running. All seven other washers had completed their cycles. And laundry was just sitting there. Occupying the washers. That I needed to use. So I set down my basket, sit down on the counter, and wait. Surely someone will show up soon. They must know their laundry is done, right? They obviously had the decency to set an alarm so they'd know when it was ready, right?
Wrong.
After a few minutes, a guy walks in. Sweet relief. NOPE. He gets his stuff out of a dryer. The washers are are still full. After about five more minutes, a girl walks in talking on her phone. At this point I'm thinking, Sweet Jesus just get your sh*t and go. Lolnope. She's clearly more interested in her conversation than in clearing the washers for the obviously aggravated telepathically screaming at her to hurry it up. She, I kid you not, takes about ten minutes to get her stuff out of not one, not two, not three, but FOUR washers. This girl, holy crap this girl, left her stuff just sitting in FOUR separate washers. One of which had ONE SINGLE pair of pants in it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. So after what felt like an eternity, I finally start my laundry, which is great, because I really needed to do it. Once I have to break out the sweatpants, you know it's serious.
SUBJECT CHANGE!
So I had my first layout the other day at ultimate practice. For those of you who aren't familiar with the game, this was a pretty exciting moment for me. Basically, a layout is what it sounds like: You lay out (dive) for the disc and make the catch. You should definitely look up ultimate highlights on YouTube. Some of the craziest displays of athleticism you will ever see.
Now, I've been on the ground for a disc before, but this time was different. So we're scrimmaging with a local club team, and the disc gets swung to a handler. I see my chance, and I break for the endzone. It had been pretty windy that day, and the throw was down wind, so I run as fast as I physically can to try to get to this disc. It's floating right out in front of me, just begging to be caught. So I dive out, grab that sucker with one hand, and secure the point right at the back of the endzone. Oh man, I was so pumped. I tell you what, there is nothing quite like the feeling you get from a successful layout. #ultimate4lyfe
SUBJECT CHANGE!
I don't know if it's just me, but these past few weeks have just taken their sweet time. I find myself working for the weekend before the current weekend is even over. I think it's because Spring Break is so close. I really need some time off. To just chill, you know? Also, I've really been looking forward to this weekend, because the ultimate team is traveling to St. Louis for a tournament. I'm really excited to play some ultimate and hang with my friends and just be college kids, but the one thing I'm not looking forward to is the cold. It's supposed to be in the 30s all weekend. With a chance of flurries on Saturday. Blech. No thank you. I hate the cold so much. The thing I love about the South is how warm it stays year-round. Call me crazy (not maybe), but I would gladly trade 110 degree summers for 50-60 degree winters.
Anyway, that about wraps it up for this week. This episode features a little more variety than my other posts so far. A little ranting, a little life update. I hope you enjoyed it! Tune in next week for the next episode of Let's Play: Life, featuring the ever so handsome and charming and witty and magical Austin! And remember kids: Get your freaking laundry out of the washer/dryer in a timely manner. Seriously.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Episode 7: Awkward...
Oh. Uh...hey there. How uh...how are you? Um...yeah...
So today we're gonna talk about BEING AWKWARD. If you read that in a complete normal voice, you need to rethink your life choices. Refresh the page and try again.
What is it about humans that make interacting among ourselves SO freaking awkward? Think about it. When was the last time you had a normal, completely comfortable conversation with a stranger, excluding those you were hitting on (because, let's be honest, everyone at least tries to turn on the charm and suppress the awkward)? Quit lying, it's never happened. And don't think your closest friends are immune either. We've all whiffed a hive-five, waved without the other person seeing, or messed up a hug at some point. People are awkward. It happens.
But today, we're going to try to mitigate some of the awkwardness present in our lives. My goal here is to set forth some general guidelines on how to interact with your fellow man/woman in various, awkwardness-prone scenarios. Here we go.
Scenario 1: Two or more strangers in an elevator.
Now, this doesn't mean you should go all out and confess your deep, dark secrets to this person, because that's adding more awkward to the situation, which is what we're trying to avoid here. I'm talking small talk.
SMALL TALK: one of the most important skills you can ever possess as a human.
Seriously, it is SO important to be able to carry out a conversation with people you're not comfortable with. Whether you're interviewing for a job or just passing the time, you will have to talk to strangers at some point in your life. And the more you practice, the easier it gets. It took me so long to grasp this concept, and I'm still working on it, quite frankly, but I'm proud to say I had a nice, one minute conversation with a girl in the elevator the other day. What did we talk about? I have no idea. I can't remember. But I remember her face and I remember talking to her, which is more than enough to go of next time.
But back to the elevator.
Small talk is perfect for this situation. I know that social norms dictate that you must be silent and stare directly ahead (or at your phone) while in an elevator, but screw that rule. Humans are social beings. Why don't we start acting like it? And the elevator isn't the only place this applies. Small talk is also appropriate for co-workers in the work place, students who get grouped together for projects or assignments, people doing their laundry, and, the staple of the college existence, parties. If you aren't willing to be social at a party, what's the point of even going? No. It's not alcohol. Stop that.
Scenario 2: Holding the door open for someone.
Let me just start by saying that you should be holding doors open for people. If you pull one of those jump-through-the-door-like-a-ninja-before-it-closes moves when someone is behind you, I got news for you: You look like a weirdo. An insensitive one, at that. Not that weird is bad in any way, because I have definitely done this before (and it was awesome), it's just that I made sure nobody was behind me (mostly so there would be any witnesses to the weirdness). And for the record, I'm not saying to have to pull a doorman and hold the door open and wait for everyone behind you to file in, because sometimes you're in a hurry and don't have time. I understand that. You are morally obligated, however, to at least prop or push the door open so the next person behind you can stop it, get through, and continue the cycle. Unless you're a male and a female is behind you. Regardless of how attractive she is or how much you do/don't like her, you are a male. Be a gentleman and be her doorman.
On the reverse end of the spectrum, don't awkwardly prop the door open for someone who isn't near the doorway and make them feel like they have to jog to the door to take advantage of your kindness. That makes it awkward for that person, which basically negates the gesture in the first place.
Here is the simple rule I follow: If the door would shut on its own before the person behind you would get there at their current pace, you do not have to hold the door for them. This avoids the whole jogging-to-the-door awkwardness. The exception to this rule is if the door locks behind you. At that point, you have to factor in how much time it would take the person behind you to get out their key (allowing a grace period in case they have to search for it) and add it into the previous formula. Simple, right? Right. moving on.
Scenario 3: You see someone you know walking toward you from a distance.
Man oh man, we deal with this everyday. What do you do in this situation? Do you pretend you don't notice them until the last second (which you both know is complete bullcrap)? Do you yell at them from awkwardly far away? Dealing with this situation can be tricky, as the amount of eye contact you are comfortable maintaining with this person varies with how well you know them. Let's start with friends. Friends, meaning you are comfortable around this person, have hung out at least once before (extracurriculars count), and can have a decent conversation with this person. Upon seeing this person, you should acknowledge that you have, in fact, seen them. If you both see each other, flash a little smile or give them a wave to establish contact, then give them a proper greeting once you are within conversing distance. If they don't see you, you should feel comfortable enough with your friend that you can say "Hey _____!" and get their attention so you can say hello and chat for a bit. Dealing with acquaintances is a little trickier, but should still follow the same rule. If you spot each other from a distance, DON'T ignore each other. You both know you made eye contact. Man (or woman) up. If your paths cross, go ahead and greet them. A simple "Hi" or even a smile will suffice. However, if they don't see you, don't feel like you absolutely have to get their attention. This has the potential to create an awkward situation for the both of you. You might bring up on a later occasion that you saw them in order to create small talk, but this is also not necessary.
Scenario 4: Misspelling "awkward."
...I ain't even gotta say it.
Scenario 5: Whiffing a high-five/fist bump/hug.
Oh man is this painful.
This is also a tough situation to deal with, as how you handle it once again depends on how comfortable you are with this person. If it's a friend, feel free to laugh it off and try again. No sweat. But if it's an acquaintance or even a complete stranger, this situation physically hurts me it's so uncomfortable. And there's not much you can do about it either. If it's a high-five, it's usually pretty funny when you miss, so you usually can laugh that one off and try again. But hugs are a completely different story.
SIDE TANGENT!
Let me just say that if you ever give someone a side hug, you deserve to be forcefully pelted with broccoli. Seriously. Side hugs are the absolute worst. Every time someone give me a side hug, I die a little inside. It makes it even worse because I go for the full on hug and just get one arm. Then I look like the awkward one. That's not fair. That's not fair to me.
BACK TO THE MAIN SUBJECT!
If you're side-hugging your friend, you're not really friends. Rethink your relationship with this person. Any respectable friends don't have this problem. But hugging acquaintances can cause all sorts of awkwardness. The easy solution is just not to hug the person. But sometimes you it can't be avoided. If it's an icebreaker game or a hug line (yes, these exist and they are magical), you have to participate. You're awkward for not participating. So if you're going to do, do it right. Give them a solid, respectable hug. If someone initiates the hug, respond. Don't just sit there and cringe. That makes it even worse. Even if it's someone you don't like very much, all you have to do is wrap your arms around them for a second or two, then you can be on your merry way.
So these are the common, potentially awkward scenarios we as humans face in everyday life. I'm sure there are plenty more, but these principles extend beyond merely these isolated situations. I sincerely hope I have opened your mind to a less awkward way to deal with uncomfortable situations. If not, meh, I tried. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little awkwardness. I am such an awkward human being it's not even funny. But I embrace that about myself, and try to control it in these instances.
So that's it for today. I promised I'd give you all something a little longer to make up for last week, so here it is. If you were keeping track at home, the "awkward" count ended up at 22, with 5 awkwardness's and 2 awkwardly's. I know I just threw a lot of words and concepts at you, and for that I apologize. Like I said before, I have some really strong opinions on the most random stuff, so once I get going on a subject, I go. I just think that if we were more conscious of how to deal with these situations, the human race would be less awkward as a whole. Anyway, thanks for reading! And remember kids, just because it's "diet" doesn't mean it's healthy!
So today we're gonna talk about BEING AWKWARD. If you read that in a complete normal voice, you need to rethink your life choices. Refresh the page and try again.
What is it about humans that make interacting among ourselves SO freaking awkward? Think about it. When was the last time you had a normal, completely comfortable conversation with a stranger, excluding those you were hitting on (because, let's be honest, everyone at least tries to turn on the charm and suppress the awkward)? Quit lying, it's never happened. And don't think your closest friends are immune either. We've all whiffed a hive-five, waved without the other person seeing, or messed up a hug at some point. People are awkward. It happens.
But today, we're going to try to mitigate some of the awkwardness present in our lives. My goal here is to set forth some general guidelines on how to interact with your fellow man/woman in various, awkwardness-prone scenarios. Here we go.
Scenario 1: Two or more strangers in an elevator.
Now, this doesn't mean you should go all out and confess your deep, dark secrets to this person, because that's adding more awkward to the situation, which is what we're trying to avoid here. I'm talking small talk.
SMALL TALK: one of the most important skills you can ever possess as a human.
Seriously, it is SO important to be able to carry out a conversation with people you're not comfortable with. Whether you're interviewing for a job or just passing the time, you will have to talk to strangers at some point in your life. And the more you practice, the easier it gets. It took me so long to grasp this concept, and I'm still working on it, quite frankly, but I'm proud to say I had a nice, one minute conversation with a girl in the elevator the other day. What did we talk about? I have no idea. I can't remember. But I remember her face and I remember talking to her, which is more than enough to go of next time.
But back to the elevator.
Small talk is perfect for this situation. I know that social norms dictate that you must be silent and stare directly ahead (or at your phone) while in an elevator, but screw that rule. Humans are social beings. Why don't we start acting like it? And the elevator isn't the only place this applies. Small talk is also appropriate for co-workers in the work place, students who get grouped together for projects or assignments, people doing their laundry, and, the staple of the college existence, parties. If you aren't willing to be social at a party, what's the point of even going? No. It's not alcohol. Stop that.
Scenario 2: Holding the door open for someone.
Let me just start by saying that you should be holding doors open for people. If you pull one of those jump-through-the-door-like-a-ninja-before-it-closes moves when someone is behind you, I got news for you: You look like a weirdo. An insensitive one, at that. Not that weird is bad in any way, because I have definitely done this before (and it was awesome), it's just that I made sure nobody was behind me (mostly so there would be any witnesses to the weirdness). And for the record, I'm not saying to have to pull a doorman and hold the door open and wait for everyone behind you to file in, because sometimes you're in a hurry and don't have time. I understand that. You are morally obligated, however, to at least prop or push the door open so the next person behind you can stop it, get through, and continue the cycle. Unless you're a male and a female is behind you. Regardless of how attractive she is or how much you do/don't like her, you are a male. Be a gentleman and be her doorman.
On the reverse end of the spectrum, don't awkwardly prop the door open for someone who isn't near the doorway and make them feel like they have to jog to the door to take advantage of your kindness. That makes it awkward for that person, which basically negates the gesture in the first place.
Here is the simple rule I follow: If the door would shut on its own before the person behind you would get there at their current pace, you do not have to hold the door for them. This avoids the whole jogging-to-the-door awkwardness. The exception to this rule is if the door locks behind you. At that point, you have to factor in how much time it would take the person behind you to get out their key (allowing a grace period in case they have to search for it) and add it into the previous formula. Simple, right? Right. moving on.
Scenario 3: You see someone you know walking toward you from a distance.
Man oh man, we deal with this everyday. What do you do in this situation? Do you pretend you don't notice them until the last second (which you both know is complete bullcrap)? Do you yell at them from awkwardly far away? Dealing with this situation can be tricky, as the amount of eye contact you are comfortable maintaining with this person varies with how well you know them. Let's start with friends. Friends, meaning you are comfortable around this person, have hung out at least once before (extracurriculars count), and can have a decent conversation with this person. Upon seeing this person, you should acknowledge that you have, in fact, seen them. If you both see each other, flash a little smile or give them a wave to establish contact, then give them a proper greeting once you are within conversing distance. If they don't see you, you should feel comfortable enough with your friend that you can say "Hey _____!" and get their attention so you can say hello and chat for a bit. Dealing with acquaintances is a little trickier, but should still follow the same rule. If you spot each other from a distance, DON'T ignore each other. You both know you made eye contact. Man (or woman) up. If your paths cross, go ahead and greet them. A simple "Hi" or even a smile will suffice. However, if they don't see you, don't feel like you absolutely have to get their attention. This has the potential to create an awkward situation for the both of you. You might bring up on a later occasion that you saw them in order to create small talk, but this is also not necessary.
Scenario 4: Misspelling "awkward."
...I ain't even gotta say it.
Scenario 5: Whiffing a high-five/fist bump/hug.
Oh man is this painful.
This is also a tough situation to deal with, as how you handle it once again depends on how comfortable you are with this person. If it's a friend, feel free to laugh it off and try again. No sweat. But if it's an acquaintance or even a complete stranger, this situation physically hurts me it's so uncomfortable. And there's not much you can do about it either. If it's a high-five, it's usually pretty funny when you miss, so you usually can laugh that one off and try again. But hugs are a completely different story.
SIDE TANGENT!
Let me just say that if you ever give someone a side hug, you deserve to be forcefully pelted with broccoli. Seriously. Side hugs are the absolute worst. Every time someone give me a side hug, I die a little inside. It makes it even worse because I go for the full on hug and just get one arm. Then I look like the awkward one. That's not fair. That's not fair to me.
BACK TO THE MAIN SUBJECT!
If you're side-hugging your friend, you're not really friends. Rethink your relationship with this person. Any respectable friends don't have this problem. But hugging acquaintances can cause all sorts of awkwardness. The easy solution is just not to hug the person. But sometimes you it can't be avoided. If it's an icebreaker game or a hug line (yes, these exist and they are magical), you have to participate. You're awkward for not participating. So if you're going to do, do it right. Give them a solid, respectable hug. If someone initiates the hug, respond. Don't just sit there and cringe. That makes it even worse. Even if it's someone you don't like very much, all you have to do is wrap your arms around them for a second or two, then you can be on your merry way.
So these are the common, potentially awkward scenarios we as humans face in everyday life. I'm sure there are plenty more, but these principles extend beyond merely these isolated situations. I sincerely hope I have opened your mind to a less awkward way to deal with uncomfortable situations. If not, meh, I tried. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little awkwardness. I am such an awkward human being it's not even funny. But I embrace that about myself, and try to control it in these instances.
So that's it for today. I promised I'd give you all something a little longer to make up for last week, so here it is. If you were keeping track at home, the "awkward" count ended up at 22, with 5 awkwardness's and 2 awkwardly's. I know I just threw a lot of words and concepts at you, and for that I apologize. Like I said before, I have some really strong opinions on the most random stuff, so once I get going on a subject, I go. I just think that if we were more conscious of how to deal with these situations, the human race would be less awkward as a whole. Anyway, thanks for reading! And remember kids, just because it's "diet" doesn't mean it's healthy!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Episode 6: Strong Feelings
Before I begin on what is sure to be a heated rant, I just want to say that the point of this blog is not to offend or hurt in any way, shape, or form. It is merely a medium for me to express my thoughts and feelings in a (semi) healthy manner for my own benefit, but mostly for your enjoyment. That being said, on with the show.
I hate Valentine's Day. Now, I know what you're all thinking: "It's only because you don't have a girlfriend." And you know what I say to you?
FALSE.
I've spent a few Valentine's Days with someone special, and still don't see the point. It's just an excuse for Hallmark to sell more cards and companies to sell more chocolate. It's a Hallmark holiday. A Halliday, if you will. If you really need to make an effort to set aside one day a year to celebrate your relationship, you're doing something wrong in that relationship. Why do you need a special day for that? Why aren't you doing that every single day? I guess it's a nice idea, but, coming from someone who has seen firsthand what happens when you don't, you should always be in constant appreciation for the person you're with. It's that simple.
All that aside, I am in no way hating on those of you out there who have somebody you love, nor am I hating on Saint Valentine for fostering that in others. Love is a wonderful thing, and I sincerely hope you hold on to that. If you make each other happy, who gives a sh*t what other people say? I certainly wouldn't. And you shouldn't either.
And that's about it for today. I apologize for the lack of length in this post, but that's really all I had to say, given the day. I'll have something better for you next week, I promise. Thanks for reading! And remember kids, tights are NOT pants. Later!
I hate Valentine's Day. Now, I know what you're all thinking: "It's only because you don't have a girlfriend." And you know what I say to you?
FALSE.
I've spent a few Valentine's Days with someone special, and still don't see the point. It's just an excuse for Hallmark to sell more cards and companies to sell more chocolate. It's a Hallmark holiday. A Halliday, if you will. If you really need to make an effort to set aside one day a year to celebrate your relationship, you're doing something wrong in that relationship. Why do you need a special day for that? Why aren't you doing that every single day? I guess it's a nice idea, but, coming from someone who has seen firsthand what happens when you don't, you should always be in constant appreciation for the person you're with. It's that simple.
All that aside, I am in no way hating on those of you out there who have somebody you love, nor am I hating on Saint Valentine for fostering that in others. Love is a wonderful thing, and I sincerely hope you hold on to that. If you make each other happy, who gives a sh*t what other people say? I certainly wouldn't. And you shouldn't either.
And that's about it for today. I apologize for the lack of length in this post, but that's really all I had to say, given the day. I'll have something better for you next week, I promise. Thanks for reading! And remember kids, tights are NOT pants. Later!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Episode 5: Ups and Downs
You know why nobody uses Google+?
Because it's so FREAKING confusing. Seriously. All I wanted to do was follow some friends' blogs, and I can't figure out how to do it. But perhaps I shouldn't hate on the very site that is allowing me to post this. Don't get me wrong, I love everything else about Google, it's just that I kind of want to bash Google+ with a sledgehammer.
Anyway.
As you might have deduced from the title of this post, I've been having an off week. I guess all those feelings from last week have carried over into this week. I don't know what it is. My ultimate game has been shoddy at best (at Tuesday's practice I dropped the pull, resulting in a turnover and, subsequently, a loss of that point), I've lost EIGHT straight League of Legends games in a row, and I've been procrastinating so much I haven't been getting enough sleep. Maybe I'm on my man-period.
Now, I know what you're thinking, and YES, a man-period is a real thing. Go ahead, look it up. You can find on the University of Shut Your Mouth's website. They did a study. Fascinating stuff. But really though. Sometimes you just get in a mood. While the man-period doesn't involve, you know, period stuff, I firmly believe your hormone levels just fluctuate and get to a point where you just feel low. But the good news is, according to biorhythm patterns, there's nowhere to go but up.
At least, I really hope so.
Although, it hasn't been all bad. Now that Wednesday is over (my longest day), I really got over this week's hump. Also, I got paid this week. Paid. Real money and everything. How did I earn said money? I sang. That's right. Sang. I tell you what, there is not much better in this world than getting paid to sing. Seriously. So the rodeo is in town until the end of this week, and last Thursday was TCU night. So, the Frog Corps sang the national anthem, the showgirls were there, the band played. It was a grand ol' time. But the rodeo asked Frog Corps to fill the national anthem slot every night. They offered to pay small ensembles to sing it each night. So we signed up to sing on the days we could, and last Monday, I sang with four other guys. And got paid. AND I get to sing again on Friday. That's almost unfair. They're paying me to do something I love? Can real life please be like this?
While we're on the subject on money, I also officially have a job this summer. I get to be (again, get to be, getting paid to do something I love) a counselor out at St. Crispin's, one of my favorite places in the whole world. For 8 weeks I get to be out there, working with kids of all different ages, leading activities, facilitating their spiritual growth, stuff like that. And I get to play ultimate at least once a week. So that's awesome.
Anyway, that's about it for this week. Thanks for reading, as always. It really means a lot. Sorry for all the complaining though. I'm really trying not to let this turn into a medium for me to moan and whine all the time. That's not what I want. I hope I have not bored you or depressed you. I tried to end on a more positive note. I think that's what I'll try to do every time, especially if the content is more on the serious or depressing side. Again, I hope that's not too often.
Well, I have ranted long enough. I'll let you go now. Tune in next time! Later!
Because it's so FREAKING confusing. Seriously. All I wanted to do was follow some friends' blogs, and I can't figure out how to do it. But perhaps I shouldn't hate on the very site that is allowing me to post this. Don't get me wrong, I love everything else about Google, it's just that I kind of want to bash Google+ with a sledgehammer.
Anyway.
As you might have deduced from the title of this post, I've been having an off week. I guess all those feelings from last week have carried over into this week. I don't know what it is. My ultimate game has been shoddy at best (at Tuesday's practice I dropped the pull, resulting in a turnover and, subsequently, a loss of that point), I've lost EIGHT straight League of Legends games in a row, and I've been procrastinating so much I haven't been getting enough sleep. Maybe I'm on my man-period.
Now, I know what you're thinking, and YES, a man-period is a real thing. Go ahead, look it up. You can find on the University of Shut Your Mouth's website. They did a study. Fascinating stuff. But really though. Sometimes you just get in a mood. While the man-period doesn't involve, you know, period stuff, I firmly believe your hormone levels just fluctuate and get to a point where you just feel low. But the good news is, according to biorhythm patterns, there's nowhere to go but up.
At least, I really hope so.
Although, it hasn't been all bad. Now that Wednesday is over (my longest day), I really got over this week's hump. Also, I got paid this week. Paid. Real money and everything. How did I earn said money? I sang. That's right. Sang. I tell you what, there is not much better in this world than getting paid to sing. Seriously. So the rodeo is in town until the end of this week, and last Thursday was TCU night. So, the Frog Corps sang the national anthem, the showgirls were there, the band played. It was a grand ol' time. But the rodeo asked Frog Corps to fill the national anthem slot every night. They offered to pay small ensembles to sing it each night. So we signed up to sing on the days we could, and last Monday, I sang with four other guys. And got paid. AND I get to sing again on Friday. That's almost unfair. They're paying me to do something I love? Can real life please be like this?
While we're on the subject on money, I also officially have a job this summer. I get to be (again, get to be, getting paid to do something I love) a counselor out at St. Crispin's, one of my favorite places in the whole world. For 8 weeks I get to be out there, working with kids of all different ages, leading activities, facilitating their spiritual growth, stuff like that. And I get to play ultimate at least once a week. So that's awesome.
Anyway, that's about it for this week. Thanks for reading, as always. It really means a lot. Sorry for all the complaining though. I'm really trying not to let this turn into a medium for me to moan and whine all the time. That's not what I want. I hope I have not bored you or depressed you. I tried to end on a more positive note. I think that's what I'll try to do every time, especially if the content is more on the serious or depressing side. Again, I hope that's not too often.
Well, I have ranted long enough. I'll let you go now. Tune in next time! Later!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Episode 4: Future? What's That?
So just a head's up, this post is going to be a little more serious than the rest. I don't know if it will be the only one of it's kind (probably not), but I just wanted to warn you. This stuff ain't for the faint of heart.
Anyway, on with the show!
So college. It's great. I love it. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, I love the responsibility.
Wait, you're telling me I actually have to do stuff with my life after I get out? And I have to decide now what that's going to be?
...and here we have the age old dilemma of college kids everywhere.
And let me just start by saying that there are NEARLY enough Pre-Majors (undeclared, undecided, whatever you wanna call it) in the world. Seriously. The number of people that change majors is ridiculous. Why people even declare majors going into college is beyond me.
That being said, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life after college. Not that I've made much progress, but still. Because I do have to decide soon. So, you know, I can actually study and prepare for it and graduate on time. College is awesome, but I'm not staying longer than I have to.
When I was younger (think elementary through middle school) I was so convinced I was going to be a computer programmer/engineer. Then when I got into high school, I realized something: I don't know jack shit about computers. Sure, I was on the computer all the time, but there were people that had built their own computers. That stuff was over my head. So that was out. After taking AP Psychology my senior year of high school, a class I enjoyed immensely, I decided to look at psychology once I got into college. Granted, I didn't declare a psych major. I just took a seminar class to get a feel for it. After writing that research paper, proud as I was of it, I realized that if I had to write one more research paper, I was going to jab a frozen banana in my eye (I detest bananas, so that's why that's funny). So that was out as well.
Which brings me to the present. After writing last week's post, and talking to a friend about music and stuff, I started seriously considering a Music Education major. As we all know, I LOVE music. And I've always thought about teaching.
But as with any thought I have about my future, I encounter the same question (Here's where things get deep. I'm about to drop a serious-bomb on you all. Feel free to turn back now):
What if I'm not good enough?
I've always struggled with self-confidence, be it with sports, girls, or just plain outgoingness (if that's not a word, it is now. You heard it here first). And as much as I love music, I've always been haunted by this question in my musical endeavors. There are SO many better musicians out there. I sing and can play a minuscule amount of piano. I know some people who play upwards of 6 or 7 instruments. And there are plenty of singers out there better than I am. I can barely sightread music or play piano. How the heck can I expect to be able to teach anyone else how to? All my life I've been surrounded by music, and all my life I've been surrounded by people better at it than me.
I've been surrounded by people better than me at everything, for that matter. I think Nate Ruess of fun. put it best when he said (err...sang) "I am a man of many hats, although I never mastered anything." Of all the song lyrics out there, this line is one I identify with most. I'm a very adaptable person. In fact, it's one of the things I pride myself most on. I can pick things up relatively quickly and acquire a certain skill level within a fairly short amount of time. But I've never quite mastered anything. I'm certainly not the smartest person out there, not the most musically talented, I still have a long way to go as far as ultimate frisbee goes, and I'm pretty mediocre at video games given how often I play them. More often than not, I'll pick something up, or get an idea, and after the initial few weeks of excitement, I just get away from it.
SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!?
I'm so scared that I'm never going to find that one job that I'm passionate about, that I want to make a career out of. And I'm even more scared that I won't be good at whatever I choose to do.
Life man. It's scary stuff.
So yeah. That's about it. Sorry to pour out my heart and soul on you. Although I did warn you. This rant was more for my benefit, but I'm happy to share my innermost workings with you anyway. Thanks so much for reading. It means a lot. It's the reason I feel comfortable enough to say stuff like this. I love you all! Yes, even you. You know who you are.
Just to end on a happier note: puffins. Seriously, the puffin is like 100% happiness. They're so freaking cute. And what's more, they mate for life. That's true love, right there. Upon mating, puffins make cliff-side homes for their young to live in. They even make a side room for the toilet! How awesome is that?
Alright, that should do it for tonight. Thanks for stopping by! Tune in next week! Puffins.
Anyway, on with the show!
So college. It's great. I love it. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, I love the responsibility.
Wait, you're telling me I actually have to do stuff with my life after I get out? And I have to decide now what that's going to be?
...and here we have the age old dilemma of college kids everywhere.
And let me just start by saying that there are NEARLY enough Pre-Majors (undeclared, undecided, whatever you wanna call it) in the world. Seriously. The number of people that change majors is ridiculous. Why people even declare majors going into college is beyond me.
That being said, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life after college. Not that I've made much progress, but still. Because I do have to decide soon. So, you know, I can actually study and prepare for it and graduate on time. College is awesome, but I'm not staying longer than I have to.
When I was younger (think elementary through middle school) I was so convinced I was going to be a computer programmer/engineer. Then when I got into high school, I realized something: I don't know jack shit about computers. Sure, I was on the computer all the time, but there were people that had built their own computers. That stuff was over my head. So that was out. After taking AP Psychology my senior year of high school, a class I enjoyed immensely, I decided to look at psychology once I got into college. Granted, I didn't declare a psych major. I just took a seminar class to get a feel for it. After writing that research paper, proud as I was of it, I realized that if I had to write one more research paper, I was going to jab a frozen banana in my eye (I detest bananas, so that's why that's funny). So that was out as well.
Which brings me to the present. After writing last week's post, and talking to a friend about music and stuff, I started seriously considering a Music Education major. As we all know, I LOVE music. And I've always thought about teaching.
But as with any thought I have about my future, I encounter the same question (Here's where things get deep. I'm about to drop a serious-bomb on you all. Feel free to turn back now):
What if I'm not good enough?
I've always struggled with self-confidence, be it with sports, girls, or just plain outgoingness (if that's not a word, it is now. You heard it here first). And as much as I love music, I've always been haunted by this question in my musical endeavors. There are SO many better musicians out there. I sing and can play a minuscule amount of piano. I know some people who play upwards of 6 or 7 instruments. And there are plenty of singers out there better than I am. I can barely sightread music or play piano. How the heck can I expect to be able to teach anyone else how to? All my life I've been surrounded by music, and all my life I've been surrounded by people better at it than me.
I've been surrounded by people better than me at everything, for that matter. I think Nate Ruess of fun. put it best when he said (err...sang) "I am a man of many hats, although I never mastered anything." Of all the song lyrics out there, this line is one I identify with most. I'm a very adaptable person. In fact, it's one of the things I pride myself most on. I can pick things up relatively quickly and acquire a certain skill level within a fairly short amount of time. But I've never quite mastered anything. I'm certainly not the smartest person out there, not the most musically talented, I still have a long way to go as far as ultimate frisbee goes, and I'm pretty mediocre at video games given how often I play them. More often than not, I'll pick something up, or get an idea, and after the initial few weeks of excitement, I just get away from it.
SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!?
I'm so scared that I'm never going to find that one job that I'm passionate about, that I want to make a career out of. And I'm even more scared that I won't be good at whatever I choose to do.
Life man. It's scary stuff.
So yeah. That's about it. Sorry to pour out my heart and soul on you. Although I did warn you. This rant was more for my benefit, but I'm happy to share my innermost workings with you anyway. Thanks so much for reading. It means a lot. It's the reason I feel comfortable enough to say stuff like this. I love you all! Yes, even you. You know who you are.
Just to end on a happier note: puffins. Seriously, the puffin is like 100% happiness. They're so freaking cute. And what's more, they mate for life. That's true love, right there. Upon mating, puffins make cliff-side homes for their young to live in. They even make a side room for the toilet! How awesome is that?
Alright, that should do it for tonight. Thanks for stopping by! Tune in next week! Puffins.
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